This past weekend I attended a memorial service for a great man. His name is Walter, and he had a tremendous impact on countless souls during his years on earth. Walter was an attorney who fought for civil rights during the 60s and 70s and even argued and won more than one case before the Texas Supreme Court.
Walter was heavily involved in Boy Scouts of America and lived to serve and support those in need around him. The drive for Walter’s care for others was rooted in his relationship with Jesus Christ. His passion for Jesus was on display for all to see, even in his last days.
All of that is enough for praise at a memorial. For me, though, Walter was more. He was a significant father figure in my life. So when I got word last Thursday night that Walter had gone home to be with the Lord, I told my wife that there was more of a sense of loss in his death than when my adopted father died.
Walter and his family showed me Christ, and he also demonstrated to me what manhood was in a world of so many mixed messages.
In my book, Confessions, I noted that I lived part of my childhood without a dad in the house. During those seasons, my mother tried to include some men in my life, men such as Walter, and his son, Eric, who led me to Christ. She didn’t fret over getting more ladies into my impressionable heart. She knew that men and women are different and that I needed the gift of masculinity and the challenge of manhood.
As I scan the neighborhoods of the world today, I see this need being much more pressing in the lives of boys and young men. So I try to convey the love of Christ and work to build and encourage boys and young men the way Walter and others encouraged me.
Today, there are times when I meet a young boy and extend my hand, but instead of offering a high five, I’ll say something like, “Let’s shake hands like men.” Sometimes it’s those little encouragements along the way that helps a boy realize who he is and what he can become as he grows. He needs to hear—from a man—that he indeed is or will be a man someday.
I still remember one of those transformational steps. It wasn’t big, but it was recognition, and sometimes that’s enough to get the ball rolling. We were at my aunt and uncle’s house for some family gathering, and I was the only kid my age there. I was bored out of my skull in the dining area, listening to my mom, aunt, and three or four other ladies talk. Then I heard Walter yell at me from the back patio: “Steve, what are you doing? Come out here and sit with the men.” It was a little thing, but why do I still remember it to this day? Because a man I respected called me out to be with him. If this man was calling me a man, then I figured I’d possibly be a man someday, too. Thus I am.
Who was a powerful man in your life?
If you’d like more on the subject of manhood, check out chapter 4 in the Confessions book. Also available at B&N and Audible.
Excitement gushed from the faces of my two sons as we pulled into our high elevation campsite years ago in Yosemite National Park. Anticipation built until they were finally released from their unpacking and set-up duties to explore the world around them. By the end of the day’s adventures, they had more dirt on them than in the campfire ring. They were filthy, and they couldn’t care less. Their experience brought joy to my heart.
I love to see little children running around without a care in the world with all the energy the world has to offer. You get the feeling they’re not afraid of anything, and to some extent that is probably true. I read once that the only two fears children are born with are darkness and loud noises. If that is true, then just about all the fears we experience in life are either taught to us by someone or learned from negative experiences.
So, what are the origins of fear? The theological answer is found in separation from God and His goodness. I find it interesting that in Genesis chapter 2 before sin entered the world, the man and the woman were both naked, yet experienced no shame. Everything changed, though in chapter 3, in connection to their rebellion against God. The text tells us that they were hiding in the garden because they were afraid of God.
Did you catch that? They went from no shame to a place of fearful desperation in almost a heartbeat. There is something to that. The demise of peace in Genesis 2:25 to the terror of heart in 3:10 has something to do with the attitude of mankind toward God. It was in the condition of rejecting God and being estranged and alone from God that fear arose.
Maybe a first step in discovering the origins of fear is to unpack exactly what we are talking about as some fears are reasonable. Considering children, I want them to have a “healthy fear” when it comes to electricity so that they don’t poke a key into a power outlet.
The Bible speaks of many kinds of fear. Some are healthy, and some are harmful. We can see an excellent form of fear when we look out over the Grand Canyon or look into the endless sky at night. Maybe the word “awe” is descriptive, and there are times in the Old Testament when fear is translated that way.
When you see something that is powerful and awesome, there is a respect in the heart for whatever this profound thing is. The Bible also refers to this type of awesome fear as reverence and is applied frequently to God himself. Awe is a good form of fear, and various texts in the Old Testament teach the value of this attitude. One such passage is Proverbs 9:10, which notes that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
The implication is that before their sin, Adam and Eve experienced some form of a healthy reverence toward God. After their rebellion though, this fear turned into dread, which is where most of humanity lives today.
The problem with our first parents in Genesis and all of us is that when we lose that reverence of God, we begin to elevate ourselves above God. The change leads to a wrong fear of the world of which we will unpack in our next post.
Addressing fear in our lives is both a quick and also a life long journey. The opening move from fear to faith is to see the connection between the perfect holiness of God and the love of God wedded in the cross of Christ. God’s holiness and love are mainly seen in 1 John 4:18 when the aging apostle noted that “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” The holy reverence of God demands punishment for sin. The perfect love of God is demonstrated by Jesus taking that punishment on the cross for whoever would receive his grace and forgiveness. When I grasp that reality and step over the line, giving my life to Christ, then I can rest in the care of God regardless of what is going on in the world around me.
Moving forward in the daily journey occurs as I set my heart toward God with a hopeful trust and a reverent fear. As I grow in this realm, I can push past the fears of the world. God has provided his great love for me, and thus the assurance of his care for me.
In conclusion, Jesus himself gave the encouraging words of “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom,” and those same words apply today to those who know him.
Yes, there is much we could fear. But in Christ, we need not live that way, but rather in faith. Be strong my friend, be strong!
the best thing to do when you’re at the end of the rope is to trust God and
just do the next thing. A while back on a Sunday afternoon, I was physically
exhausted and emotionally spent after preaching that morning. I was also
handling a number of church projects and concerns that felt like a
mountaineering backpack filled with lead, all the while knowing I had an
important meeting that night. But after a short crash on my bed and watching my
favorite football team get beat, I threw some water on my face, stood still for
a moment, asked Jesus for physical help, and put one foot in front of the
don’t see that a lot in the Bible, but that’s pretty much what life is. We like
the action stories of David whopping Goliath, but we silently ignore all the
days that David was in the desert waiting on God. Eventually, God worked
through that normal Hebrew teenager who was stepping out in faith on a daily
was a good meeting and teaching time that Sunday night. I was still physically
beat when I got home, but there was more of a smile on my face than when I
left. I’m not sure what caused the positive change in my demeanor that night.
It could have been something as simple as the additional dopamine in my brain
chemistry caused by the physical action of getting up and moving. Maybe it was
a swath of encouragement from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe it was just a sense
that if I kept climbing, I’d eventually reach the summit of the mountain, and
that’s a good thought.
What is the next step before you today? What will it cost you to take it? What will it cost you if you do not take it?
It was late November of 96 and we were packing up to move north for our first full-time ministry after returning from the mission field. The process included securing a moving truck and car trailer in tow. I had never driven anything as big as this truck before and I was a bit concerned, especially with the car trailer attached. My dad never taught me how to handle anything this big before when I was a kid. Actually, he had never really encouraged me that I could do anything bigger than my present reality.
But my friend Todd, who is now a Bible Translator in Papua New Guinea, was with me as we made the final connections for the tail lights. We wiped our hands off and took a deep breath from a job well done. Then, after another deep breath, I said, “Todd, you know, I’ve never really driven anything this big before and honestly I’m a bit afraid that I’m going to wreck it or something.” Todd just looked at me and nodded his head once with a small smile. I went on, “but I guess I just need to be a man about it and push forward.” Again, Todd just gave a small smile and quick nod and only offered the one-word response of, “yup.”
That’s really all there was to it from then on out. We prayed, asking for God’s help. I then shook Todd’s hand, thanked him, and then climbed into the cab and took off. But that’s what I needed. I needed another guy just to tell me that I was a man and that I could do it. (more…)